A little dialog-ical story for your enjoyment:
Him:
Did you say text the chick tonight or wait till Saturday?
Me:
You could do either, just keep it light
Him:
I’m gonna text her in the afternoon:
“what kind of trouble you getting into tonight”
How’s that?
Me:
Yep!
Him:
Wait wouldn’t it be weird if I asked that because she bartends tonight? So should i say weekend instead?
Me:
Yeah if she works tonight, you should wait til a day shes not working to say that. or say something on Friday about the weekend, like ask her to coffee or something like that.
Him:
I hate coffee.
Me:
Well you don’t have to get coffee…get tea! Just take her somewhere that it could turn into more, like around Chelsea market, and then there’s tons to do around there after. But keep it casual.
And, I’m just saying , ideally…this is what I would want for like a first date…there’s less pressure with coffee/tea, than dinner or drinks. You know?
Him:
Haha I know I’m just playing. We’ll see what happens.
(Offtopic) so what are your thoughts about:
“dating friend’s ex” (friends can be like for example: Jim looks like he’s pretty tight with you, imagine him as a girl and “she” went out with a dude. What are your thoughts about dating that dude after him)
Vs
“dating acquaintances ex?” (acquaintance is like John…now change it to the same scenario as above)
Me:
If you like seconds…
I don’t really go in either direction unless I absolutely have no control over myself and that person can’t help it either. I think there are a ton of “untouched” options that don’t burn any bridges.
Him:
Well a person I know is dating my ex, I’m not sure what to make of it.
I feel kind of insulted because she “downgraded?” I mean if she went out with a dude that looks like brad pitt that would be great. I would be like damn she’s good and I’m kinda glad I got to go out with her first, but the dude actually isn’t all that. I know him by face only and I don’t even know his last name.
And my theory is:
8.4 million people live in NY
4.2 million are of the opposite sex
2.1 million of them are not in relationships
1.05 million of them is in your “age bracket” for dating.
503,000 are interested in same sex, or not looking for a relationship
250,000 are “potential dates”
175,000 of those potential dates will give you a date
85,000 of those dates will be connected to someone you know one way or another
40,000 of the passable dates will end in epic failure
So that leaves a sum of 20,000 dates that is untouched.
Still a pretty good ball park figure for NY eh? Haha
Me:
Did you really do all that research or you making up shit? Lol
And yes, there are PLENTY of untouched, available people. Except if you factor in the fact that the ratio of women to men in NYC is 4 to 1 and 1 in 3 people have an STD, that brings your number down to about 1,600 “untouched” people. Still good for you…switch that around to us girls and were down to a tiny 66 available, straight, willing to date us and without a STD. In other words, I should just move to a convent.
But, in other news…she’s a douche for dating someone that has any ties to you. But, most men don’t care…maybe that’s what she’s thinking…?
I mean, I’m not into all that…what is it guys say to other guys who get their seconds “how does my dick taste??” lol. gross.
Him:
I have a vast imagination, just made it up hahah. Pretty good right?
I have nothing against it. Everything happens for a reason right? I never thought about it the way you did though, and that’s only if the dude is down to eat out of the garden. Actually I can guarantee that 80% of dudes don’t care about sloppy seconds as long as there’s a serving haha.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Goo-Goo Gah-Gah
Hunt-ie wikes when you hold his hand, Hunt-ie feels wike kissing you, Hunt-ie wants to go to beddie-boo, Hunt-ie isn’t feeling well…Hunt-ie this, Hunt-ie that.
“Hunt-ie” is annoying.
Hunt-ie has a real name and its Hunter. But for some reason, he thinks it’s cute and/or sexy to speak like a two-year-old. I don’t know what girl gave him this idea…but she’s going to be an annoying mother, to say the least. I thought Hunter was doing this because he was drunk, but by the end of our first date, I realized “Hunt-ie” was here to stay. And as far as I’m concerned, Hunt-ie will never be heard by these ears again.
It’s sad really. Hunter was such a great catch. He is an investment banker, has a great apartment with a roof deck right off the 4 train, and had an amazing body with eyelashes for days. He was cute and funny. Too bad he still thinks he’s talking to his mommy when he wants something.
I’m sure Freud would have something to say that could make me understand how a grown man can “coo” at a woman he is trying to “woo.” I’m sure he would say something along the lines of, “Young Hunter was deprived of oral satisfaction in the crucial oral stage of psycho-sexual development, and in times like these relies on the Id to get him through his anxiousness of being around a person of the opposite sex by ignoring the reality of the situation and retreats back to the beginning stages of life.”
I hear people talking to their kids like this sometimes and it baffles me. Do they not think that the way they talk to their kids can dictate the intelligence and vocabulary of their kids later in life, as adults? All this goo-ing and gah-ing seems like a waste of breath. Doesn’t simply changing your tone get the same message across without all the baby talk? I don’t see the need to make up words and add silly syllables to make it more “baby-like.” Babies understand tones and facial expressions. The end.
So, needless to say, Hunt-ie will undoubtedly find some crazy girl that likes the mental insult of baby talk, but it’s not this crazy girl.
“Hunt-ie” is annoying.
Hunt-ie has a real name and its Hunter. But for some reason, he thinks it’s cute and/or sexy to speak like a two-year-old. I don’t know what girl gave him this idea…but she’s going to be an annoying mother, to say the least. I thought Hunter was doing this because he was drunk, but by the end of our first date, I realized “Hunt-ie” was here to stay. And as far as I’m concerned, Hunt-ie will never be heard by these ears again.
It’s sad really. Hunter was such a great catch. He is an investment banker, has a great apartment with a roof deck right off the 4 train, and had an amazing body with eyelashes for days. He was cute and funny. Too bad he still thinks he’s talking to his mommy when he wants something.
I’m sure Freud would have something to say that could make me understand how a grown man can “coo” at a woman he is trying to “woo.” I’m sure he would say something along the lines of, “Young Hunter was deprived of oral satisfaction in the crucial oral stage of psycho-sexual development, and in times like these relies on the Id to get him through his anxiousness of being around a person of the opposite sex by ignoring the reality of the situation and retreats back to the beginning stages of life.”
I hear people talking to their kids like this sometimes and it baffles me. Do they not think that the way they talk to their kids can dictate the intelligence and vocabulary of their kids later in life, as adults? All this goo-ing and gah-ing seems like a waste of breath. Doesn’t simply changing your tone get the same message across without all the baby talk? I don’t see the need to make up words and add silly syllables to make it more “baby-like.” Babies understand tones and facial expressions. The end.
So, needless to say, Hunt-ie will undoubtedly find some crazy girl that likes the mental insult of baby talk, but it’s not this crazy girl.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Let The Games Begin!
As you may or may not know, my life has always been full of dating blunders...well, ever since I discovered that I liked boys and they liked me. I remember clearly the day I realized that it was all a game.
It was a hot summer day, as most were growing up in Arizona, and I was out playing at recess with all my friends. The boys and girls in my class were performing our daily ritual of playing chase. We were all running around and around the same four buildings we did every day trying not to get caught for fear of being the chaser and not the chase-ee (because that was just not cool). I suddenly realized that Justin David (the cutest boy in the second grade) was not only chasing me...he was chasing only me (out of six other girls)! And this was the second day in a row that he was running after me. We were running and running and then all of a sudden I no longer heard his footsteps just steps behind me. I backtracked and as I turned a corner, I saw him hiding behind one of the big trees that not only had the prettiest pink flowers coming out of it, but was now my favorite tree because he was touching it. A high-pitched scream escaped me as he jumped out from behind it and sprinted at me as fast as he could. Everything must have been in slow motion because he tackled me before I could react. And…I was “It.” You know, “It,” the one who has to chase the other. But I was in such a daze that he got up and ran away before I could tell him that he was the cutest boy ever and I was, in fact, in love with him. Shortly after, recess ended with a sharp bell that stunned me out of the cloud of hearts containing “Mrs. Amy David” that were floating above my head.
That night, I was watching a soap opera with my mom. I always followed the stories because this was one of the only things my mom and I did together on a regular basis. One of the main characters, a pretty blond girl, Sammie, was in love with the same guy her sister was in love with. But, she couldn’t tell anyone because that would just be wrong. So she decided to act like she didn’t care, thinking that it would make everything go away. Then, when the guy realized she wasn’t interested anymore, he started flirting with her more intensely.
The next day, Justin was chasing me again. But, this time when he caught me, I said matter-of-factly, “I don’t want to chase you, you chase me more.” And then, he kissed me!!
Normally, any little girl would be happy that the cutest boy in the second grade just kissed her, but instead of telling him everything I wanted to, I flashed back to the soap opera and asked myself, "What would Sammie do?" I concluded that she wouldn't let him know what she was thinking. So, I wiped my face off and ran away, thinking he was going to keep running. But, he didn’t chase after me. The bell rang, so I just ran back into class and acted like nothing happened for the rest of the day.
The next day, he didn’t chase me, again. I didn’t see him hiding behind my favorite tree. He wasn’t chasing anyone else. Actually, I couldn’t even find him at recess. So, instead of playing with my friends, like I did every other day, I sat below the pink flowers and cried.
It was a hot summer day, as most were growing up in Arizona, and I was out playing at recess with all my friends. The boys and girls in my class were performing our daily ritual of playing chase. We were all running around and around the same four buildings we did every day trying not to get caught for fear of being the chaser and not the chase-ee (because that was just not cool). I suddenly realized that Justin David (the cutest boy in the second grade) was not only chasing me...he was chasing only me (out of six other girls)! And this was the second day in a row that he was running after me. We were running and running and then all of a sudden I no longer heard his footsteps just steps behind me. I backtracked and as I turned a corner, I saw him hiding behind one of the big trees that not only had the prettiest pink flowers coming out of it, but was now my favorite tree because he was touching it. A high-pitched scream escaped me as he jumped out from behind it and sprinted at me as fast as he could. Everything must have been in slow motion because he tackled me before I could react. And…I was “It.” You know, “It,” the one who has to chase the other. But I was in such a daze that he got up and ran away before I could tell him that he was the cutest boy ever and I was, in fact, in love with him. Shortly after, recess ended with a sharp bell that stunned me out of the cloud of hearts containing “Mrs. Amy David” that were floating above my head.
That night, I was watching a soap opera with my mom. I always followed the stories because this was one of the only things my mom and I did together on a regular basis. One of the main characters, a pretty blond girl, Sammie, was in love with the same guy her sister was in love with. But, she couldn’t tell anyone because that would just be wrong. So she decided to act like she didn’t care, thinking that it would make everything go away. Then, when the guy realized she wasn’t interested anymore, he started flirting with her more intensely.
The next day, Justin was chasing me again. But, this time when he caught me, I said matter-of-factly, “I don’t want to chase you, you chase me more.” And then, he kissed me!!
Normally, any little girl would be happy that the cutest boy in the second grade just kissed her, but instead of telling him everything I wanted to, I flashed back to the soap opera and asked myself, "What would Sammie do?" I concluded that she wouldn't let him know what she was thinking. So, I wiped my face off and ran away, thinking he was going to keep running. But, he didn’t chase after me. The bell rang, so I just ran back into class and acted like nothing happened for the rest of the day.
The next day, he didn’t chase me, again. I didn’t see him hiding behind my favorite tree. He wasn’t chasing anyone else. Actually, I couldn’t even find him at recess. So, instead of playing with my friends, like I did every other day, I sat below the pink flowers and cried.
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